Feeling Like a Failure as a Foster Parent

On Feeling Like a Failure

This weekend is Mother’s Day weekend, so it feels pretty ironic that I am writing a post about feeling like a failure when it comes to mothering.

The timing was not planned.

I admitted here right off the bat that we were struggling ever since Cece was placed in our home. Our struggles were much more with ourselves than with her but for a number of reasons the placement was not a good fit and yesterday she ended up moving on to a different foster home at our request.

This was not a simple decision.


Feeling Like a Failure as a Foster Parent


It was the right decision for our family but I still feel guilty.

I feel like I failed her.

But, having her here was really affecting our family, we didn’t want to take two placements after our time with Buzz and Woody but because we struggle with saying no we did anyway.

So, she moved to a different family. We still have little R2 and for the foreseeable future we plan on sticking with just one foster child at a time.

I really don’t know what else to write, I’m still processing a lot of this but wanted to share this part of our foster care journey here for now while it is fresh.


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  • Niki

    Thanks for being honest. It’s good you had the courage to speak up. To serve in ways that we feel equipped is not a failure. Knowing that one foster child at a time is what’s right for your family is a GOOD thing and having this experience will help you say “no” when you need to in the future. It’s not a failure, it’s a learning experience and another step in the journey.

    • Lida Mathews

      You are absolutely not a failure, it’s okay to have a failed placement. That just means that she was intended for another home. Thank you for your honesty, we had a failed placement a couple of months ago and it was so hard…hard while he was here and hard to let go- but I know this was the right choice for him and for us!

      You gave her love for the time you were supposed to! Thank you for saying yes! Xoxox

  • Challice

    I’m glad you shared this. I would love to foster one day. I can only imagine the decision you faced, and I know where to pray specifically. But, it was also eye opening to me that it is ok to say this child needs a different home if that is what is best for your family. I dont know that I would have ever processed that thought.

    Happy Mother’s Day to a beautiful mom!

  • Stena Schmitt

    Fostercare is hard for anyone and everyone involved. To have the love and compassion to allow a child into your home is amazing. The time spent with you will leave an impact. Never forget that.

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